Mommy Advice Needed

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So this time around, I need advice about a situation with Bestie.

Here’s the dillema as I see it:

Little Man is a “titty baby” in every way possible. He wants his mommas boob and nothing else. This is wearing Bestie out. She home schools Turkey and there are days that Little Man makes this damn near impossible.

That being said, I also feel that Bestie is half responsible for perpetuating this. She allows him to use her as a pacifier, she picks him up at any little fuss, she takes him from Loud Mouth, me or anyone else holding him when he first starts to fuss. She complained to me about Loud Mouth not bonding with Little Man… but from what I saw, she doesn’t allow him to. She never even let me try and soothe him, except for when she was in the shower and didn’t know he was fussing. How can Loud Mouth (or anyone else) soothe him and bond when she takes him away to pop the boob in his mouth?

So, I was wondering:
1. Why is Little Man like this? So clingy to her? Are her actions doing this?

2. How can I approach her about this without sounding “too intrusive”? Or should I say anything at all?

3. If I do speak to her about it, what options (if any) should I suggest to help Little Man not be so clingy?

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What’s A Girl To Do?

As many of you saw, I have been struggling to cope with Besties new role as a mommy x2.

I took a cue from the comments you lovelies made and reached out to see how things were going. Turns out, she’s quite busy. Not in the “my hands are full” kind of busy, but already bouncing around to her cousins who have just had babies to have play dates kind of busy.

Now, we (Butthead and I) usually accompany her, Loud Mouth, and their daughter to Trick or Treat. This year, I get this reply- “We already have plans, maybe we can hang next weekend” When I replied “oh, okay.” I get the consolation text of “you can join us if you want, my cousins and I are taking the kids to the square.”

Sigh. Am I being unfair to feel like an outcast? I feel like I am losing her to other mommy friends/family. It’s like this rollercoaster of emotions:
“she doesn’t need me.”
“Maybe she does, she is just busy”
“she’s not too busy, she just needs other mommies- not me.”

HELP! How can I shake this? Or am I just going to have to deal with the fact that being a mommy 2x over changes the game so much… we just won’t be able to connect like before?

I am scared of losing her… but I feel like I’d sound whiny or bitchy to if I say anything. I dunno what to do. Any advice?

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I am in a mood

Boy, I am just in a mood I cannot escape from today. I really need more female friends in my life.

Someone I can talk to, unfortunately… all my friends are Mommies now, and well… don’t have time for me. Bestie has not called or text me since little man came home. He will be a month old next Thursday.

I understand this is an important settling in time for them. I understand she must be exhausted from breastfeeding every three hours, that is expected. I just feel lonely.

I have Butthead, yes… but, I grow tired of him. Okay, that sounds mean. I mean, I grow tired of it just being him. Day in and day out, I need a new person to talk to. I feel excluded from the ever growing mommy club. It’s doublely frustrating because I WANT to be in that club.

As I sit here, I feel like crying. I hate facebook these days. It just reminds me of how everyone else is expecting or loving their mommy life. I feel like I am withdrawing into a shell because I can’t fit in.

How did I get here? I put all my friendship eggs in one basket and now that basket has forgotten how to hold those eggs… so now the eggs lie smashed on the floor.

Ok. Stupid analogy. But, shit. I am not enjoying myself, I am a pitiful depressed person. I dislike this “me.”

Sigh. I just needed to vent. Maybe this has helped. Time will tell.

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Rant: Manners

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Manners. Most know of the concept, very few seem to use them.

I break overall manners into two categories: everyday manners and table manners (etiquette).

TABLE MANNERS

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This graphic does justice to what I was taught. The only thing missing is to ask to be excused from the table.  I have noticed from dining in public and in other people’s homes these rules are not common place AT ALL anymore.

Even TV has bolstered rude manners as “cute.” There is a paper towel commerical that drives me T-TOTAL CRAZY! You might have seen it. The one where the mom smiles as her kid blows bubbles in his chocolate milk. DEAR LORD. What?! First – and ONLY time- I ever blew bubbles in my drink I got smacked and told to NEVER do that, it is rude!

Is it new a cultural thing? That whole “let them be little” fad? Because I believe there is a difference in letting them be little and letting them be rude!

EVERYDAY MANNERS

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The simple stuff. Even today, I think it is important. I am even more relaxed than most. I don’t expect “ma’am” everytime, but “yes” and “no” are expected. “Yeah” , “nah”, and my kryptonite “what” are not tollerated. I give Bestie big kudos on this. Her daughter never answers with “what”, it is always “ma’am” or “sir”.

Here is a list I found that is a good idea of what I plan on teaching my kids. I wish people would pick up even *half* of these! Sad thing is- I’ve experienced more Adults who need this list than children!

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So what do y’all think? Are manners lost on our society? Have an insight or a rant of your own? Post it! ↓↓↓↓
Til next time! ♡♥♡♥

I Can’t Seem to Help It

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Baby on the brain. Craziness. Baby fever. Bio clock ticking.

Whatever you wish to call it, I’ve got it, bad! My fiance caught me yesterday and called me out.

We were helping out friend move. We were gathering final bits and I noticed his sister was leaving behind a very nice pack n play stuffed full of baby stuff. (Her son is 2 now)

So, this compulsion took over. I had to have it. I don’t know WHY- but it called my name. Loudly! I hop to and begin digging out the stuff. I was carefully tossing things I wanted into one pile and tossing the rest into a trash box. I was almost done, finish line in sight, when my fiance walked by. (Damn)

“Wha-what are you doing?” He almost kept walking but then as if an imaginary hook caught him, he paused and pondered.

“Cleaning this out, it’s a niiiice pack n play” I whispered.

His eyes narrow. “Why?!”

“It’s nice and…” I stammer

“We DON’T have a baby!” He’s flabbergasted.

“…but Baby J (besties baby)…” I mutter then he cuts me off.

“Already has one… put it back! Help with the stuff THEY want!” And he huffs off.

Shot down. Dammit. And made to feel crazy on top of it all. I DID get a bag of clothes to give to my bestie though. Ha. He shut up on that one. Anyhoo… til next time… ♡♡♡

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Fears

Even though I am not yet pregnant, I fear things about pregnancy.

The biggest fear being a c-section.

I found this blog post via Pintrest:
6 Ways to Avoid a Cesarean Section

Great blog post! I am already working on tip #1. But this post states that 1 in 3 women give birth via a section.  ONE IN THREE!
Those odds frighten me! I DO NOT want to get cut. The idea nauseates me.

It also lists several “interventions” that my friends think I am crazy for wanting to avoid. The main one being- an epidural. This article confirms one of my reasons I do not want one, it slows labor!

My reasons to say NO to the big E:

1. It slows labor. ^^^ Covered that.

2. Big needle + Spine= No. I do not covet the idea of an epically huge needle going anywhere near my spinal cord. Nope.

3. My mom. When my mom had me, the doctors knicked her spinal cord while giving the epidural causing her to have a debilitating headache. I was sent to the NICU and she couldn’t even get out of the bed to see me. Again, no thanks!

There are more reasons, but those are the major three. Call me crazy, but I’d rather “feel it all” than have the complications!

Next intervention mentioned is Induction.

Now, this is particularly relevant as my “best friend” is being induced in about 6 hours. I do not agree with this option- but she is so over being pregnant that I do not think she paused to consider it is not a good option.

I like my MIL’s saying: “When the apple’s ripe,  it’ll fall.”

Due dates are just good guesses, anyway. I think inducing is an easier option for the doctor and the mothers are so ready… they don’t pause to think. Starting labor before the cervix is ready and adding Pitocin is a bad cocktail of hard labor without results. Which coincides with… dun dun duuuuunnnn… C-SECTION!

Check out the article. It makes a lot of sense and to me, confirms my stance of au natural birthing is the way to go.

Opinions?
Questions?
Just wanna talk?

↓↓↓ Have at it! ↓↓↓

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Oh Baby…

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Baby Fever. Those pesky two words! 9 letters ruling my life at the moment.

Facebook
Pintrest
Instagram
Babies, babies, babies!

I found an article thru Pintrest, it is called “Pregnancy is Contagious.”
What? Really! Pffft.
Pregnancy, is not contagious!
Baby Fever, THAT is contagious!

Looking at my Pintrest board… there is more baby/kid related items than anything else. Seriously. More than what appears publicly, too. I pin pregnancy stuff privately- as not to raise my aunt’s eyebrows. I know I would get an “is there something I should know” call otherwise.

My phone’s internet browser has more pregnancy sites pinned than my best friend- who by the way is ready to launch her 2nd any day now. Sad, I know. This is how I determined that my baby fever has escalated to baby influenza. This started as a joke. I am pondering the hilarity of it now.

I feel under-supported in this phase. Look up baby fever on Pintrest. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Back so soon, eh? My point, exactly. If it’s so prevalent… where are y’all? Scream out to me! I need my fellow feverers! We need a bat signal. Perhaps a big bio-clock… ha!

Til next time♥♥

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One of Those Days

Ever have one of those days where you really want to pinch your significant other’s head off? Like, squishy-squish pinch their head? Hearing the same thing you already know, over and over and freaking over again.

My S.O. and I had this problem today. I love the man to pieces, but I am only human… I can only accomplish so much a day. I get it, we both are frustrated about our current situation. We both are mentally ready to get this family thing going. Unfortunately we have several physical things limiting us at the moment. My health/weight and our house. The house was the gripe factor today.

We have the daunting task of reorganizing and making updates to the house to make it baby worthy. A lot of things need to be pitched, new things need to be bought and the place could use a new coat of paint (more aesthetic than anything, but on the to do list all the same.) This task is causing stress and I am not enjoying it. I know it has to be done… but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I feel like my weight is our biggest hurdle, but he won’t point that out. I feel like he is growing anxious for our family and at the end of the day- it’s still my fault for not dropping the pounds fast enough. I feel the mounting pressure and I feel trapped. I don’t know what to do. I feel like a huge disappointment. I hate it.

So, yes… I understand his frustration, but I can’t help but shove back for the irritation I have with myself. We are at a stalemate. I just need to breathe and stare down this road, size it up and move forth trying to figure out the direction to go.

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“You Don’t Understand…”

“You don’t understand”
“Wait til you have kids”
“It’s something only a mother can know”

I loathe these statements. Maybe it is true. I guess I wouldn’t know. What I do know is that those statements cut me like a knife. I feel that even though I do not have children of my own, I have spent plenty of time around them, caring for them, teaching them. I think I know a thing or two.

Yet, I get met with these statements. Time to time, it pops out like a sneaky ninja in a conversation.  “You’ll understand when you have kids…” It feels like, “You might have studied about kids, gotten a degree, babysat, lived with kids, and taught kids-but you don’t understand them or know how it feels to love them.

Yet, how can I argue this? I DON’T have kids, it’s true. There is nothing I can say to argue the validity of this statement. I just wish my knowledge and opinion was taken more to heart than to be dismissed as invalid because my “mommy creds” aren’t cashed in the form of my own kids.

I feel like this post might be circular and I am chasing the point around. I need honest insight, who can provide this to me? Take your shot below. I bid you farewell for now. Toodleloo…

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