A Year Ago….

A year ago today we watched as you slipped away.

Love, prayer, tears, all were present… but none of it could save you.

Pleading with God in my head at your bedside, willing you to open your eyes and your breath to not stagger. I wasn’t ready to let you go… none of us were.

We still needed you, MIL, hell … we still do. How we have traversed this year without you is still a mystery. I still wait for your call. I still think I hear your voice. 2-22 is everywhere… like a kick in the pants.

Today is going to be hard. Not as hard as a year ago, but painful just the same. As painful as it is, we have to learn to live without you. We’ve made it a year… but we have many more to go.

I love you and miss you more than words can say. My heart aches today as I know that with each passing year from here after your voice will be harder to recall, your sayings will linger into fading memories and the image of your face will be harder to picture in our minds without a photograph. These are the truly painful things that the first anniversary of death brings. The day of death we begin to learn to live without someone… a year later, we’ve made it but begin to hold on tighter to fleeting memories.

Rest easy, MIL, I miss you but I know this wasn’t goodbye. .. just a see you later.

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