Stealing the Intangible


So, I dunno if I’ve mentioned before, but Bestie, Loud Mouth, Turkey and Lil Man live in my childhood home (I still own). That is important, as it is the subject of my post today.

Yesterday was Turkey’s birthday. Butthead and I excitedly chatted about going to the Aquarium on our way to “The Old House/Their House.”  We were suposted to be there at 9, but with hardly any traffic, we arrived about a quarter ’til. As we pulled up, Bestie was coming out and Loud Mouth was standing in the driveway. Then we noticed, the back glass of Besties SUV was busted out!

The neighbor’s SUV back glass was busted, too. As we were checking to see if anything was stolen, Loud Mouth noticed something much more disturbing…

“What the FUCK! My truck has been SHOT!”

Sure enough, a ricochet on the right side and a bullet in the tailgate. Closer inspection of Besties SUV, a bullet in the back headrest and one in the roof. Same with the neighbor. Three bullets in theirs.

Loud Mouth is on the phone, requesting the cops come make a report when I decided to step in to warm my frozen feet. When I get to the door, my stomach hits my feet. I yell for Loud Mouth and Butthead, because right at my eye level is a fucking bullet hole in the front door.

The bullet traveled through the metal front door, across the living room, through a metal picture frame, a wooden shelf and out the back wall. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Nothing was stolen from the vehicles. It was a drive by. A FUCKING DRIVE BY. That house used to sit in a middle class oasis. I grew up there. Never feared a single second I spent there. I had great neighbors. Still do. But, what was stolen was much more valuable than anything that could have been in those vehicles.

My sense of home, my sense of security, my safety. All gone as fast as that bullet wizzed thru my childhood haven.

So even though I will never see you to justice and you will never see these words… FUCK YOU.

FUCK YOU for all you’re worth, you no good coward. Fuck you for being so selfish. Fuck you for being so careless! Fuck you, because you could have KILLED my family! FUCK YOU,  YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH. 


$ 1.5 Billion Dream

The question here in the states this past week has been:

What would YOU do with a BILLION dollars?

Well, I’ll admit, I threw in $6.00 to grab at the hopes and wishes. But, alas… it wasn’t meant to be, but I thought that it’d still be fun to tell you all my plans had I won big tonight!

Step 1- Hyperventilate.

Step 2- Regain consciousness.

Step 3- Plan and the quickest and cutest lil wedding you ever did see.

Step 4- Have the quickest and cutest lil wedding you ever did see!
Step 5- Start baby makin’!

Then everything else is just gravy on the biscuit. Pay off the house. Buy some land. Buy reliable cars. Build our dream family home.

I don’t want fancy cars. I don’t want any lavish jewelry. I just want me, Butthead and a few lil ones to have a lil place out in the country. Thats all. Rest would be divided up between bills, folding money and investments. 🙂

How about you?