Being the typical southern belle that I am, my teenage summer days were consumed with figuring out the best way to get tan! Tanning is like an Olympic sport in the south. Don’t you dare show up to a 4th of July barbeque in shorts with pasty legs!
Those days were brought to mind by this little ecard that popped up on my facebook.
Now, this sounds much more relaxing than it actually was. Picture this, if you will…
Me, 15 or 16… dragging a lounge chair out of my garage into my backyard, along with my cordless phone (no cellphone yet) , my boombox (complete with tape player) , a spray bottle of Off! , and a towel (to lay over my face).
So, now is when the athletic element comes into play! Event 1: setting up your chair! Remember those lovely 90s beach lounge chairs. The ones designed to fold into a “convenient” size. They look like they are made out of a bunch of straws wrapped in a metal frame. Yeah… well, after you unfold the legs you get to the fun part! Unfolding the head and foot.
*click click click* damn it! Too far…*click click cl-* shit! Its stuck! *kick….*click click click* Ugfghgghhhg!
Now that your chair is unfolded, comes event 2: spraying on the Off! Who needs baby oil when you slick up with Off! Now, you may ask why I need bug spray to lay in the sun. If this question comes to mind, you, my friend have obviously never been to Georgia. Mosquitoes are never in short supply and my backyard was full of trees and unruley, untouched nature. We. Had. Mosquitoes.
Now that you are greased to gills, time for event 3: tune that radio! Yes, my friend, just try to move around and tune that radio with your newly aquired butter-fingers! Ever drop a radio on your chest? I have. It sucks.
Radio station aquired? Great! Now tan for the few minutes of sunlight you have left before the sun moves behind the trees! (Because I was way too self conscious to tan in the front yard!)
Have any great tanning stories? Let me know, lovelies!