I am mad.

I am mad. FUCKING MAD!
Why her? Why? It seems so unfair! We had just got so close! Is that why?! Is it? She had finally squelched my desire for a mother figure! I finally felt not so empty!

But, no! NO NO NO! And what about Butthead!? I feel like I have truly fucking failed him. I can’t be strong for him. I just sob like a baby. What good am I? He needs me and I am as strong as an overcooked noodle!

So unfair. So unbelievable! I want to be MAD! I NEED TO BE MAD.  I want to blame someone… yell at them! Scream at them. Justice… right the wrong!  BUT HOW? There is no one! I just want to SCREAM!

I AM SO MAD! I WANT TO BEAT MY FISTS AGAINST THE WALL AND JUST SCREAM AND CRY UNTIL I CANT MOVE. UNTIL MY VOICE FADES AND I HAVE NO ENERGY.

I want to stop this feeling. This fucked up, angry, upset, could cry at the drop of a hat, emotionally drained but raging kind of mentality. 

I … just want her back. Please wake me up. Please!

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