So, spending the better part of two weeks with MIL has provided quite a few No Filters and some bad behavior as well. Enjoy!
-So, Butthead has two brothers, one who MIL lives with and the other who lives a few hours away. I use facebook to show MIL pics of brother 2’s kids. He and his wife have a 10 year old boy and an 8 month old baby girl. After seeing her Christmas pictures, this happens:
MIL: “See, (Butthead), (Bro#2) makes pretty babies, so you can too! “
(Blank stare exchange between Butthead and I)
– Bro#1’s girlfriend, we will call her Hippie, was making cupcakes with her daughter before dinner one night. MIL was already in super rare form, tired from work and apparently grouchy … cringe worthy moments followed. Hippie kept her cool, though, God love her.
MIL: Cupcakes before dinner?
Hippie: Yes ma’am, we ran out of time earlier.
MIL: Don’t fill those cups so high, you won’t have enough for all the cups.
Hippie: (Forces a smile as she side eyes MIL) (Pours last of batter in a cup, then gets spoon to dip from others to fill remaining two cups)
MIL: Eh, don’t do that, just put water in those so they don’t burn.
Hippie: (Visibly aggravated, but still smiling, puts water in tray…)
MIL: Don’t splash the others!
Hippie: (no longer smiling) I got it, thanks. (Puts pan in oven)
MIL: Should you be cooking those while dinner is being cooked?
Hippie: (goes to take them out, very agrivated, but forces another smile)
MIL: No, no. .. leave them. They are already in there.
Hippie: (retreats to room, biting a hole in her lip… I’m sure.)
– So, after that debacle, we finsh dinner and MILs phone rings. It says it’s her sister, which is strange because she never calls so late. Turns out it’s her sister’s daughter calling to tell her that her sister is in the hospital. This upsets her, but she trys not to show it… until:
(me, MIL, and Bro#1 are talking in the kitchen)
*pop*pop*pop* from outside…
MIL: Damn it! Again!? (Her dogs start going ape)
Bro#1: Calm down, Mom. They’ll quit soon enough. It’s just some firecrackers…
MIL: No! I’ve had enough of their crap! (If she was a cartoon, I am positive steam would be rolling out her ears.)
Bro#1: Mom… (turns to put milk back in fridge)… just… (turns back and she’s gone) …well, (hears front door shut) …shit.
*sitting at the kitchen table I can hear her thru the window ripping the neighbor a new one. A few minutes later I hear her, Butthead and Bro #1 come back in*
Butthead: Mom, you can’t do that shit! He’s a G R O W N man!
MIL: I can’t… right now… I have to go get a cool rag. (Asthma/BP acting up… had to go calm herself)
**knock on front door**
Butthead and Bro#1: Shit!
**After a few minutes, she returns to kitchen, a bit calmer…and they return from the front porch.**
Butthead: Mom, the neighbor came to apologise. (Turns out he told them he had not been scolded like that since he was a kid-haha! )
Butthead: So? ! He felt bad he upset you!
MIL: Yeah, right!
Butthead: He was just having fun with his little boy, he doesn’t get to see him often!
MIL: Who does that?! Fireworks with kids… pfft. (Ill-logic ramping up)
Butthead: Uh, a lot of folks…
** so this continues for about 10 mins, logical vs illogical, until…**
MIL: I can’t argue with you, (Butthead), you are too logical!
HAHAHA! This is literally the closest EVER she has come to admitting defeat! EVER! Seriously!