There is a smattering of posts about childhood toys on Pintrest.
I noticed as I scrolled through these, that memories came flooding back. Painful memories.
Before you pull out the Kleenex, I am talking about actual physical pain. Like, “ouch” pain… not emotional trauma.
This birthed the idea to post a clumsy kid’s guide to 90s nostalgia. Enjoy!
Ahhh yes. The “boingy” thing. – As many kids before me, this simple household device held my fascination. Crawl behind a door and let the parent yell fest begin! But, of course, as a clumsy child this inanimate object bested time and again. From pinching my finger between the wires to popping back onto my finger at a painful rate of speed, this piece of household hardware brought me a good amount of tears.
Jellies– Jellies were the ultimate must have during my early elementary days. Colorful, stylish…all the rage! Yet, not designed for the clumsy kid. These beautiful, shiney things turned to razor blades during a fall. Slicing the heel, sides and if you are as lucky as me… slices your toe as it slides out the tiny hole in the front. Band aids, blisters, and tears were left in the wake of the Jellies.
Jump Rope- Oh, and not just any jump rope. This specific type of Jump Rope was the only kind used by my Elementary school. I swear it came from Satan, himself. This demonic design pinched and walloped you when it hit your legs. It made lovely sounds on the gym floor, nice rhythmic clacks. It was awesome for coordinated children. Clumsy me just learned to wear pants in gym. Thick pants.
Metal Slide– My generation was the last ones lucky enough to burn their butts on these before plastic slides were deemed the safer alternative. Yes, burning your butt was not a clumsy kid exclusive… clumsy kid experience was swinging your legs at the top of the slide to get momentum, (to reduce the scorch time) gaining too much momentum, slipping, slamming your back on the slide and screeching the rest of the way down breathless and with burnt arms and legs.Yay!
This evil guy. -Creepy, isn’t he? This guy had a pull string. Why? I am not sure. Because every toddler wants a scary, blinky, jingly phone to follow them. Worst mobile phone, ever. How could I hurt myself with this, you ask? Oh… it’s quite easy. This sucker tripped me from behind. Oh yes! Running (my first mistake) pulling this guy behind me, I guess I pulled too hard, the phone jumped up and hit my heels and tripped me. Total face plant. Stupid phone!
Sky Dancers- Oh how pretty and magical they looked on TV. My mom heard how much I needed this non-stop. My excitement was quickly extinguished. As soon as my Birthday party ended, I ran outside to try my beautiful new toy out. First few times were pure MAGIC! Then clumsy took hold and to my shock as I pulled the cord, my hand slipped slightly and pointed the doll right at my face. WHAP. My beautiful present flew full force into my face, spinning wings full force slapping my face. Tears and band aids… of course.
Squeez-its- Oh how I loved these, especially on a hot summer day! However, as a clumsy kid you learn that even the things you love can hurt you! These wonderful little drinks had a nasty habit of sticking to my tongue. I had several moments of panic thinking I am going to have this stuck to my tongue the rest of my life! Of course, they eventually released.
I am sure now some of you are questioning how I survived into adulthood. Ha!
Well, til next time! ♡♥♡♥