Boy, I am just in a mood I cannot escape from today. I really need more female friends in my life.
Someone I can talk to, unfortunately… all my friends are Mommies now, and well… don’t have time for me. Bestie has not called or text me since little man came home. He will be a month old next Thursday.
I understand this is an important settling in time for them. I understand she must be exhausted from breastfeeding every three hours, that is expected. I just feel lonely.
I have Butthead, yes… but, I grow tired of him. Okay, that sounds mean. I mean, I grow tired of it just being him. Day in and day out, I need a new person to talk to. I feel excluded from the ever growing mommy club. It’s doublely frustrating because I WANT to be in that club.
As I sit here, I feel like crying. I hate facebook these days. It just reminds me of how everyone else is expecting or loving their mommy life. I feel like I am withdrawing into a shell because I can’t fit in.
How did I get here? I put all my friendship eggs in one basket and now that basket has forgotten how to hold those eggs… so now the eggs lie smashed on the floor.
Ok. Stupid analogy. But, shit. I am not enjoying myself, I am a pitiful depressed person. I dislike this “me.”
Sigh. I just needed to vent. Maybe this has helped. Time will tell.