One of Those Days

Ever have one of those days where you really want to pinch your significant other’s head off? Like, squishy-squish pinch their head? Hearing the same thing you already know, over and over and freaking over again.

My S.O. and I had this problem today. I love the man to pieces, but I am only human… I can only accomplish so much a day. I get it, we both are frustrated about our current situation. We both are mentally ready to get this family thing going. Unfortunately we have several physical things limiting us at the moment. My health/weight and our house. The house was the gripe factor today.

We have the daunting task of reorganizing and making updates to the house to make it baby worthy. A lot of things need to be pitched, new things need to be bought and the place could use a new coat of paint (more aesthetic than anything, but on the to do list all the same.) This task is causing stress and I am not enjoying it. I know it has to be done… but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I feel like my weight is our biggest hurdle, but he won’t point that out. I feel like he is growing anxious for our family and at the end of the day- it’s still my fault for not dropping the pounds fast enough. I feel the mounting pressure and I feel trapped. I don’t know what to do. I feel like a huge disappointment. I hate it.

So, yes… I understand his frustration, but I can’t help but shove back for the irritation I have with myself. We are at a stalemate. I just need to breathe and stare down this road, size it up and move forth trying to figure out the direction to go.

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